latest journal entry
February 26, 2024
Sometimes I think men see me as this stupid naive 'little girl'. Maybe add in a 'slutty' or replace girl with 'whore'.
But I fucking hate that combination of words. 'little girl' is a term that makes me feel so egregiously disgusting, like my skins about to slough off at any moment. And that encapsulates how I feel sometimes about the way that typically men will perceive me. It's also just blatantly wrong. I'm not stupid and I'm not a little girl. But I wish I knew if they were right about the naive part.
At times I wonder if I am in a way responsible for how men treat and perceive me. If I'm really that naive about it all.
I have two common experiences with men. There's the ones where I'm not directly involved with them and so, I immediately set off the misogyny in them. then theres the second one I just call 'human sex doll'. I'm treated like a person but only on the most surface level so they can try and fuck me. respect to my face but not anywhere else. I think I prefer the former experience.
I'd rather my dehumanization be blatant and to my face. When it's behind your back it feels more sinister.
I am not a piece of meat and I'm so fucking tired of being treated like I am.